When my dad, the only son of an Orthodox Jewish family, met my mother, the youngest daughter of a large Irish Catholic family, the earth must have shaken because those two crazy kids ran away and got married to the shock and dismay of their families. .
Although the families were never fully reconciled to this event, a kind of peace was achieved. A relaxation, if you will. In due time, I was born and my two brothers and sister eventually appeared on the scene to complete our family.
In many ways, children from religiously mixed families live schizophrenic lives and this is probably most evident during periods of religious festivities when obligatory pilgrimages are made to grandparents’ homes for customary practices and celebrations.
My siblings and I always knew that all of our grandparents, aunts, and uncles loved us. I had thirty-two first cousins on my mother’s side of the family and six first cousins on my father’s side and those cousins, closest to me in age, were my best friends and remain so to this day. But we also knew that we were different from our cousins because we had “strange” parties that these cousins just didn’t understand. My Christian cousins celebrated Christmas, my Jewish cousins celebrated Hanukkah, and WE celebrate both. In our house, a Christmas tree was also called a Hanukkah bush.
The Friday before Easter we ate our Easter dinner at Bubba’s house complete with all the solemnity that the occasion demands in Jewish homes. We hear the story of Passover, how our ancestors were freed from slavery in Egypt. We ate the bitter herbs and reflected on their enslavement to Pharaoh and freeing him to the land of milk and honey in Israel. As I grew up, I would privately think of Jesus, attending the Seder and reflect that He would have been home during Passover at my Bubba’s house.
At Easter we went to Mass and listened to the Easter story and reflected on the cruel death of Jesus at the hands of the Romans; how He died for the sins of man and his resurrection on Easter morning and his and man’s triumph over death by his sacrifice. Then we went to Nana’s house and ate ham.
We were raised to honor and respect both of our cultures and so we grew up to be tolerant of the beliefs of others. Our own religious beliefs are personal and none of us are doctrinaire Christians or Jews, but my sister and brothers are good people and I think I am too.
Being raised in a religiously blended family had many moments of confusion and hilarity and there were moments of some embarrassment for our parents. I remember a dinner at Bubba’s house, which was kept strictly kosher, when I asked/demanded butter with my food and made a big commotion when this request was firmly denied. I can still remember the look I got from my parents and if looks could kill, I would have died on the spot.
There was also a time, after mass on a Sunday, when I wished the parish priest “Mazeltov” as he stood at the door of the church talking to his parishioners as they left the church. This time my mom turned beet red and again, if looks could kill, I wouldn’t be here to tell the story.
The consequences of my mom and dad’s love and devotion to each other, their children, and their families continue to this day and are seen in many ways. In my own family, for example, I continue to honor and celebrate the holidays and customs my parents grew up with (even though I’m not Kosher). As the holidays approach this year, I am planning my Passover Seder and shortly after that I will host a Passover dinner at my home. Everyone is invited regardless of belief, I just ask that we all enjoy the parties and the food and the conversation.
My Passover Seder will be as traditional as I can get and will use recipes I inherited from my Bubba. One of those recipes that will be on my table is one that I especially like because I was told that its texture and appearance was to remind diners of the bricks and mortar with which the Jewish slaves of Pharaoh were forced to work to build the pyramids. :
Harosheth
1 lbs. Tart apples , peeled and cored
4 ozs. Walnut halves (about a cup to a cup and a forth)
¾ TBS. Cinnamon
3 to 5 TBS. Sweet wine
Finely chop the apples and walnuts. Add the cinnamon and mix in a bowl. Add enough wine to moisten the mixture and create a paste-like texture. Taste and add more cinnamon if needed.
This recipe makes about 4 cups.
Another Passover recipe I first tried at my Bubba’s table was a honey cake made with matzo flour to make it suitable for the Passover Seder.
honey cake
1/3 cup Matzo cake meal
1/3 cup Potato starch
½ cup Sugar
1 tsp. Cinnamon
1 tsp. Ground Ginger
Pinch of Finely Grated Nutmeg
8 Eggs (separated)
1 Egg White
¼ cup Vegetable Oil
1 cup Honey
Preheat oven to 325 degrees and lightly grease a 10-inch tube pan.
Combine matzah cake flour, potato starch, sugar, cinnamon, ginger, and nutmeg. Make a well in the center and one by one, add the egg yolks, beating well after each addition. Beat the oil and honey.
Using an electric mixer, beat the 9 egg whites until stiff but not dry. Gently fold the whipped egg whites into the batter. Pour the mixture into the prepared pan and bake for about 1 hour, until the top of the cake is golden brown and a toothpick inserted into the center looks clean.
Let the cake cool on a rack. Put powdered sugar on top. This will make 8 to 10 servings.
Baking with matzah meal, even the most finely ground flour, is challenging. The large number of eggs used in the batter is what gives this cake its lightness.
At my Easter dinner, I will be remembering my mom as I bake my ham and use recipes that she inherited from her mom, my nana.
Cooked ham
When buying a ham to bake, allow ½ pound per serving and allow 20 minutes of cooking time at 350 degrees per pound (using a meat thermometer, allow internal temperature to reach 160 degrees).
Preheat oven to 350 degrees and place ham on a rack in a shallow roasting pan fat side up. Bake unglazed ham until thermometer reads 130 degrees or up to 1 hour before ham is done.
Prepare to glaze the ham by scoring the outer fat in a diamond shape, cutting ½ inch deep with a sharp knife.
Frosting: 1 cup Bown sugar
1 cup of honey
2 teaspoons dry mustard
15 (or more) whole cloves
1 can pineapple rings
Maraschino cherries (optional)
Sauce for drizzling: 1 cup brown sugar, 1 teaspoon dry mustard, 1 cup orange juice.
Combine the ingredients to make the glaze, mix well and spread over the outside of the ham. Cross out with your whole cloves decoratively on each of the diamond points. Place pineapple slices in the center of each diamond and secure with toothpicks and finally, if desired, place a maraschino cherry in the center of each of the pineapple slices and secure with toothpicks (don’t forget to remove toothpicks first). you serve the ham).
Return the ham to the oven to finish baking and, if desired, brush the ham every 15 minutes with the Basting Sauce.
Let the ham rest and slice it at the dinner table.
And for the desert:
Carrot cake
2 cups All Purpose Flour
2 cups Sugar
½ tsp. Baking Soda
1 tsp. Baking Powder
¾ tsp. Salt
1 tsp. Cinnamon
½ tsp. Nutmeg
3 egg yolks
2 ½ tsp. Hot Water
1 ½ cups Grated carrots
1 cup Vegetable oil
3 egg whites, stiffly beaten
1 cup Walnuts (finely chopped)
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Mix dry ingredients; add oil, carrots, egg yolks and water. mixture. Add the beaten egg whites and gently fold in. Add nuts.
Bake at 350 degrees for about 50 minutes in an 8-inch round or square pan. Cool cake on cake rack.
Top with cream cheese frosting (when cake is cool).
Cream Cheese Frosting
¾ stick Butter (softened)
1 (8 oz.) Cream cheese, (softened)
16 ozs. Powdered Sugar
2 tsp. Vanilla
½ cup Chopped Walnuts (chopped coarsely)
Mix cream cheese and butter together. Add sugar and vanilla. Mix well, add the nuts and chill the cake.
My mom and dad got married because they found each other and fell deeply, completely, and eternally in love. They stayed in love and overcame obstacles that even I can only imagine and they did it with grace and humor. I am so grateful to them for sharing that love with me and my siblings, and as we approach the upcoming holidays, I will remember them with love and honor the heritage they gave me. And so I tell you, Malzeltov, it’s Passover/Easter.
