Does making “small talk” cause you “big fear”? Do you wish you could melt to the floor when you have to walk into a room full of strangers?
There are several techniques you can use to make yourself more comfortable. Find someone, preferably someone who is lonely, and look at them. If the other person looks back, smile. If the other person smiles slightly, move closer.
Realize that you have something in common with everyone else in that room: they are all in the same place. So please make a comment and then ask a question about the place. (You can also talk about the weather, the event, or anything else you have in common, like belonging to the same organization.)
Examples might be: “It sure is cold outside! How far did you have to go to get here?” or “This is a fabulous facility! What about the rest?”
Before you walk into the room, think of 5 open-ended questions you can ask to encourage the other person to speak. Base them on what you and he/she might have in common, or how they got to this point in life. For example, “How do you know [the host]?” Another question could be: “According to the emblem on your T-shirt, we both work for the same employer! What do you do for XYZ Company?” One or more questions can be based on local or corporate news, so stay up to date on current events. After 5 questions, if the conversation is still awkward, it’s time to apologize and move on. someone else.
Apologize by giving a valid reason to move on, such as “I enjoyed talking to you, but I need to meet new people (or visit a vendor, eat something, etc.). Have a good night!” Smile and walk away to do what your reason tells you.
If you are traveling on a plane or on a ship, the rules need to be changed. Remember that you have the experience of being on the same means of transportation in common. Comment/question pairs like “Wow, look at that sunset! What are sunsets like where you come from?” it would be appropriate. You can’t get away from the other person, so pay attention to their body language for signs that they want to end the conversation. One of those signs could be a lack of eye contact. If you want to finish it, use a reason like “It’s nice talking to you, but I really need to finish my work.” Then look at the book or papers.
There are more such rules on the Internet, especially business networks, but the above are basic to American culture.
These rules can be learned through books, seminars, and training.
