I have studied astrology for a long time. Like everything else human, there are many personal opinions, conflicting information, and conflicting authors. Some of them can give you a whiplash as your mind struggles to understand the contradiction, argument or paradox created. One such area of variation is where do you find mom and dad on the chart and which parent is represented in the 4th and 10th houses on the parental axis? This particular conflict has been around for many decades and even centuries. If teachers disagree, how can we as students draw conclusions for our own work? I decided to use logic to see if it would test in experience.
My favorite way to reason about something like this is to start with our “knowledges,” those areas that make sense, don’t have as much contradiction, and seem to work consistently. In this case, we will first look at the houses themselves. In the Tropical Placidus system I am using, the house numbering starts with the ascendant and moves counterclockwise (widdershins) across the wheel sequentially. The ascendant is the 1st house cusp, moving down the wheel of houses to the Immum Coeli (IC), which is the 4th house cusp, and then moving up the wheel to the descendant (opposite ascendant, 7th house) , moving still upward to midheaven (MC) as the 10th house cusp, then moving downward to complete the circle of houses on the ascendant. Twelve houses equally divided into quadrants (4).
The ascendant is where we come into the picture, so the 1, 2, 3 houses on the left side of the chart are intensely personal: I am (1), I need (2), I communicate (3). We branch at the cusp of the 4th from “self” to “others” on the right hand side of the chart and what we are becoming now has to take “others” and our interaction with those others into account. That is true for all six houses (4-9) on the right hand side of the chart. The remaining three houses (10-12) are again on the left side of the chart and join the first three houses in “I-ness.” Left side “me”, right side “others”. The lower six houses are internal. and introspective. The six main houses are external and objective. (I just defined the hemispheres for you for free.) Back home: each of these angles are important points of change of experience, from the pure “I” (1) to the encounter with the “other” (4), to the purely “you” or “we” (7 ), to achievement and eventual return to pure “me” (10). I hope at this point you can see that there is a natural progression here and that we gradually develop through the arenas of physical and psychological experience. The 4/10 axis and its houses represent our parents. Which is which?
The 4th house itself represents home, home, family, where we delve (IC) into subjectivity, the womb (this should be a good clue), the warm dark cave, our first sense of security (4/ 10 is also security axis), our roots, genetic, intensely personal, part of the subjective-developing houses (1-6).
The 10th house itself represents achievement, goals, stature, mission, where we try our best (MC) in objectivity, the mountain we climb to achieve, success or failure for some, where we know how to “make it” or not. ‘t. It is the other half of the security axis, outsourced, objectivity developer houses (7-12).
Just looking at what the house traditionally represents gives us a clue as to which parent belongs there. In a general sense, that would indicate that the IC and his house are more of the mother, the cocoon, the family value, the nurturing father, the center around which families are built. The MC and his house is more like the father expecting more from us and preparing us for the outside world and its demands. This parent must teach us how to achieve potential success (if they know how to achieve it themselves). The concept or role is that one provides internal security while the other prepares you for external security.
But life doesn’t always flow ideally, right? Role reversal is possible. Not all moms are caring, not all dads know how to succeed in business. Not all parents cooperate in their roles, they have the skills, motivation, care and individual or team support. Some parents can do it all, some are totally negligent, some are just plain bad, and some are overachievers. Parenting is truly a complete mix of tradition, non-tradition, ability, motivation, and application. Logic may lead us here, but parental roles are not always clearly defined in traditional terms. What I got to in my own readings was a verbal description to my client of how he saw each parent individually in his chart and asking my client to place each parent correctly, because it’s not a description of a person, it’s a description of a role. I am not an astrologer to ask the client questions and then return the answers to them as a reading. I have no problem clearly defining the two roles and allowing the client to place them. Work for me!
Can we make a somewhat loose rule as to the traditional roles parents play, allowing for uniqueness and individuality in non-traditional applications? I think that’s okay too. This is a ‘normally it acts this way, but occasionally we find the exception’ thought. All of life contains exceptions, paradoxes, contradictions, and anomalies, and we are admitting that from the start.
Who is the first parent you meet as a newborn child? Personal and subjective, passing from the self to the other. Is it your mother or your father? There will always be exceptions, choose normal.
I have an excellent personal example of the complexity of reading parental roles. My dad played both roles when my mother died quite young and he became a father and mother. My dad was a good man, a farmer and construction worker with no idea how to be successful any other way and therefore he taught me to work hard, earn a living, be loyal to my boss etc. That is what he understood about success, which is what he taught his children. His whole life was his family, his children and his personal circle: mom, sisters, brothers, etc. He would do anything for any of us. He “looked after” all of us instinctively. My mother died early, but while she lived, she was a typical Broadway theater mom, she wanted me to be a little Judy Garland or some other Hollywood children’s success story. She fought for our success and did everything in her power to bring us into the late 40’s spotlight.
Astrologically I have Pisces on the MC with Neptune at 4, and co-ruler Jupiter at 9 conjunct Moon, Virgo on IC, ruler Mercury at 6. What’s the translation?
- My mother was the dreamy Pis/MC, ruling Nep at 4 and Jup at 9 joining the Moon.
- My father was practical person Vir/IC, ruler in the 6th.
- My father became both father and mother: Pis/MC, ruler Nep/4th (4th/10th association)
- This is a very good example of an astrological puzzle piece fitting into a chart.
Note that the 4/10 axis is just one piece of the parent reading on a graph. Other than my one example of a parent occupying both houses, no mention has been made of planets in the 4th or 10th house. This discussion has been about the axis itself and how parents can be read from that axis. Any planet in the 4th or 10th should be added to the material developed for the parent described by that house. It adds to the flavor of the description, expands or enhances it, and gives it more detail.
The two lights, the Sun and the Moon, are also traditionally designated by the parents, the Moon for the mother, the Sun for the father. And, just to confuse the issue, Saturn is frequently used for the father. While this may contribute to your reading of each parent, it doesn’t help us determine the 4/10 parent, so that’s a topic for another day.
And as if that weren’t enough for parental axis choice, what might change as we go from a newborn baby taking its first breath with one set of parents to a fully grown adult with the same but different parents? ? Life changes us through experience, all of us, including our parents. Your role has the possibility to change as it does all your life. The identification process we use for our concept of our parents is also constantly changing. Ask any teenager; I’m reasonably sure you yourself were one of them at some point. We grow through life, hopefully in a progressive and evolutionary way, but not always, like an onion that grows from the inside out. Our core is our birth pattern, at our very core, and experience is added like layers on the outside as we grow. and it comes to be. We will all see life differently when this happens, including our parents.
Comments are welcome.