Typically, career choices are made based on responsibilities, compensation, or prestige, where an employer makes a change to gain higher salary, more responsibility, or more prestige. However, what about the situation where the driver behind a career choice is none of these; where are the needs of a child driving change? My choice was precisely that.
Trevor was a happy, normal, active baby. He was able to laugh, coo, cry, and do all the other normal things that his older sister, Briana, did at that age. For my wife Patty and I, everything seemed fine. Around the age of two, we noticed that Trevor barely spoke words and was very much into his own world with puzzles, coloring, and videos. Over the next two years, we took him to a speech therapist for help with his language, and we also enrolled him in a preschool for children with special needs. During this time we notice other peculiar characteristics of a small child; a strong desire for structure (his preschool teachers called him “Mr. Rigid”), obsessive fixations on various subjects, and no real desire to associate with other children. However, Trevor was very easy in the sense that he would keep himself busy for hours playing by himself and acting out whatever imaginary thing he could think of. He was very disconcerting to us.
When Trevor was five years old, we took him to specialists at the University of Washington Autism Center, who ran a series of tests to assess speech, cognitive understanding, and relational behaviors. At the end of the evaluation, one of the specialists explained that Trevor had Pervasive Developmental Disorder, Not Otherwise Specified (PDD-NOS), a mild form of autism. This was strange to us because we had associated autism with more severe cases (think Dustin Hoffman in “Rainman”) where speech was limited to not existing at all and there was no real interaction between the child and others. Trevor was able to speak and interact, but was roughly two years behind his peers in development. The specialist explained that although Trevor had many characteristics of “normal” children, he saw the world as if he were looking through a rolled-up newspaper; he had a narrow focus on the world and did not pay attention to things that did not interest him or how other people perceived him. To give you an example, think of Jack Nicholson in the movie “As Good as it Gets.” His character, Melvin Udall, was a brilliant and successful author who was obsessed with cleanliness, kept a very rigid schedule, didn’t walk on the cracks in the sidewalks, and was generally unaware of how he behaved with others. others. Although he was not labeled as such, Melvin may have had PDD-NOS.
In some ways, learning that Trevor had a milder form of autism was a relief because he was able to learn to control his behaviors and be a high-functioning adult. In other ways, though, having a milder form of autism puts him in something of a purgatory when it comes to other kids. He doesn’t fit into a traditional special needs category, but he is clearly unique compared to other children. If Trevor had grown up before 90, his actions would have been seen as problem behavior and he would have been labeled a difficult child. The truth is that Trevor is not a behavior problem; he’s just wired differently than normal kids.
Trevor’s public elementary school was wonderful to work with; he qualified for special services and was able to get one-on-one assistance with a special education teacher. While we have greatly appreciated the attention the public school system has given him through sixth grade, we are very concerned about his transition to middle school. Through much discussion, we have decided that it is in Trevor’s best interest to move him out of mainstream school in seventh grade and into a more personalized homeschool approach. Thinking about this, Patty and I decided that in order for Trevor to have the best chance of success, we needed to share teaching responsibilities. He had spent eleven years at Accenture and I was in my ninth year at Microsoft and was very happy with my career. At the same time, we also realized the importance of giving Trevor the best educational experience possible to ensure that he leads a normal adult life. We decided that it was in my best interest to leave my secure full-time job at Microsoft to focus on a new career that would give us more flexibility in caring for Trevor. It was at the same time that he had written a book called The Project Management Advisor that was in the process of being published. He had also just started a food delivery business called delBistro with a friend. The timing seemed perfect for him to take the plunge and leave Microsoft to build a new career as an author and entrepreneur to ensure that Trevor gets what he needs to ensure a normal and happy adult life.
The last six months have been focused on me adjusting to my new career as an author and entrepreneur and on us beginning to investigate how we will approach homeschooling Trevor. I have seen a great benefit in being more available to my family and Trevor is already getting used to me being around more often. I have tremendous peace with the career choices I’ve made, and see that focusing on Trevor is far more important than any promotion or accolade I might have received at Microsoft or any other traditional job. Our goal is to make sure that, by September, we are positioned to homeschool Trevor and that my professional activities do not interfere with our homeschool priorities. By the way, Trevor’s social butterfly sister has already made it abundantly clear that homeschooling is not her cup of tea, which is why she will remain in the public school system.
I realize that a choice like the one I have made when you have an autistic child is not always feasible. We have been very blessed to have the financial means and opportunities to make this decision. What I can say, however, is that this investment in Trevor’s future will yield a far greater return than any return he could earn in a more traditional career and I see this as the smartest career choice I have ever made.
See part 2 here http://EzineArticles.com/10078696