There is no such thing as a typical Indian wedding. Surprised? That’s because in this land of diverse languages and traditions, wedding customs are equally varied.
Here is a look at how people who reside in the eastern and western regions of India celebrate weddings.
east indian weddings
East Indian wedding ceremonies are not as opulent or extravagant as those in North India, but they are just as elaborate in their own way. There are dozens of simple yet meaningful rituals, many of them very interesting and actually rooted in ancient logic and reasoning. Weddings in India are also an occasion where long-lost close friends and family members come together and share memorable moments during this happy occasion.
However, the most striking feature of a Bengali wedding is the fact that the mother of the groom does not attend the wedding. She waits for the happy couple at home, ready to go through all the welcoming rituals.
A typical East Indian groom is traditionally dressed in a dhoti and kurta, and carries a mirror at all times until the wedding ceremony is over. The groom’s party is welcomed with fresh flowers and a lot of conch shells by the women. Rose water is sprinkled on it and then both the bride and groom prepare for the royal nuptials. The bride is beautifully dressed in a heavy red Benarasi saree and wears a kind of crown like a princess. She has sandalwood paste decorations on her forehead and face.
As part of the wedding ritual, the bride has to sit on a low wooden stool called a pidi that is raised by her brothers. Then her brothers lead the bride around the groom seven times in circles, signifying her eternal union. Interestingly, all the time she protects her boyfriend’s eyes with a betel leaf. The bride then proceeds to sit on a highly decorated pidi (low wooden stools), similar to the one the groom is sitting on, all while the priest sings. The women gathered conch shells to commemorate this auspicious moment.
This is followed by the exchange of flower garlands between the bride and groom, to the accompaniment of the chanting of startled mantras (Sanskrit verses). The bride and groom take seven steps around the sacred fire again. The groom then applies vermilion to the head of his bride, the symbol of a married woman. After this, the bride is given to the groom by her maternal or paternal uncle.
The newlyweds arrive at the groom’s house where further rituals and ceremonies follow. Hiding the rings of the bride and groom, playing with a pot full of rice are some of the wedding games for the new bride to feel at home.
Interestingly, the married couple has to stay apart that night and only the next night, after all the rituals are finally completed, can they enjoy marital bliss!
Antillean weddings
West Indian weddings, especially Maharashtra weddings, usually take place in the morning. Before this, the betrothal ceremony, known as Sakhar Puda (exchange of a packet of sugar) is held to formally declare the betrothal.
In the morning, a puja is held to worship Lord Ganesh (the elephant-headed God of prosperity). The groom’s family arrives at the bride’s residence or mandap in the morning and is invited to enjoy a lavish breakfast.
After this, according to the auspicious time already established in consultation with various astrological almanacs, the girl’s maternal uncle escorts her to the Mandap (marriage hall). Tradition dictates that the girl and boy do not see each other while the Antarpaat ceremony is taking place. In this a silk partition (Antarpaat) is placed between them. The priest then sings the shlokas, after which Antarpaat is removed. Friends and family gathered to throw whole rice on the couple as an auspicious sign. The bride and groom then exchange flower garlands and take the Seven Steps (Saat Pheras) around the ceremonial sacred fire.
After the marriage ceremony, another puja is held, known as the Laxmi Narayan puja, in which the bride and groom are symbolically worshiped as Goddess Lakshmi (the Goddess of Wealth) and Lord Narayan, respectively. As in all Indian weddings, the girl is formally “given” by the father or maternal uncle to the groom. This ceremony is known as Kanya Daan throughout India.
Gujarati wedding ceremonies also begin by offering prayers to Lord Ganesha and seeking his blessings. Traditionally, the bride and groom exchange jaimala or flower garlands twice. The first time, the groom is made to sit on a higher platform than the bride, symbolizing that the bride has not severed her ties with her friends and family. The second time, they are at the same level. In what is known as the Madhuparka ceremony, the groom’s feet are washed and he is wrapped in honey and milk. Even while this ceremony is in progress, the bride’s sisters and cousins try to steal the groom’s shoes, a tradition that is followed in almost all Indian marriages. There are lots of laughs and good-natured banter. The groom has to ‘bribe’ these girls with handsome financial benefits to get their shoes back!
Next comes the tying of the groom’s shawl to the bride’s sari, preparing them to take the customary Seven Steps around the sacred fire, the centerpiece of all Indian weddings. The couple walk around the sacred fire seven times, taking their seven vows, to the accompaniment of mantras chanted by the presiding priest. Formally married, the couple seek the blessings of their parents and other elders. This concludes the wedding, followed by a grand and lavish reception party.
Traditions and customs form the backbone of an Indian wedding. It is rich, colorful and vibrant, and hides a great deal of meaning in its many interesting and sometimes puzzling customs, which are rooted in its ancient heritage.