I remember when I didn’t have my son yet and I always listened to mothers talk about the things their children did. Sometimes she participated in conversations, but always from the point of view of someone whose experience was caring for a cousin or a friend’s child. Back then it was almost annoying to be in the company of a group of mothers, because all they did was talk about their children. The conversations would be about; what the child did at any age, the foods they liked or not liked, the sleepless nights that mothers spent when a child or children fell ill, etc. So many times the rest of us childless are left out and started our own conversations or wandered off to find something better to occupy ourselves with.
Later, when I had a child, I realized that these mothers did not intend to leave us out of their conversations; it happened naturally and unconsciously. Without meaning to, I found that I couldn’t help but think about my daughter, if she was well, if she was well fed and at the right time, or if her diaper had been changed and the like. When these are the dominant thoughts in the mind, the conversations that follow automatically focus on that.
Motherhood is not limited to giving birth. From the first day of a child’s life, a mother begins to be trained by some invisible power, to sense when a child needs to be fed or changed. What amazes me to date is how a mother will recognize the sound of her son’s voice among many other voices. For example, I was always intrigued when in a sea of babies let’s say that on a vaccination day at a hospital, a mother left her child with the caregiver and approached the counter for something. Then all of a sudden, several babies start crying and, among them, she highlights the crying itself. Another example is when visitors came home, there was a lot of talk and noise, but through that, I could tell when the baby was crying in the bedroom. Checking it out, he would have woken up.
Then come the stressful days and nights when a baby has a fever or an infection or a stuffy nose. Oh! All mothers go through such moments and it is intriguing to note that even without prior training, you will always be alert and on your feet to make sure the baby is as comfortable as possible. I remember one of those days when my son had a temperature above normal; 39 ° C (degrees centigrade). The normal temperature for a baby is 36.4 ° C / 37 ° C, depending on whether the thermometer is placed in the ear, on the tongue, or under the arm. That day, like so many others that followed, I was always checking the baby’s temperature, placing a damp cloth on his forehead to reduce the “burning.” Now, I realize that even when the doctor assured me that everything would be fine, it did not stop me from feeling anxious. Usually a baby will be fine during the day and then seems to get sicker at night; hence the stress levels of the mother.
It is the mother’s duty to stay awake most of the night to watch over the baby. Any slight sound from your baby will wake you up even if the baby is only sighing. When one goes through so many sleepless nights due to the well-being of a child, this is true motherhood. It doesn’t end here, as the baby develops through the different stages, there are other challenges along the way that the mother finds herself mixed in. This is not to say that motherhood is about the child crying and getting sick. There are many happy moments that are more than difficult moments.
For example, seeing a baby smile for the first time is a joyful feeling for the mother. I don’t take that for granted because it gives one a warm and comforting moment that lasts forever. A child’s first teeth develop, the first time he crawls, the first time he stands without support, the first steps, the list goes on. When one experiences all of these things first hand, they stay with the person and cannot be safely exchanged.
I have also learned that as a child grows, the mother will worry about whether she is receiving a balanced diet. She will see to it that her child has the best education, wears the best clothes, interacts with the right people, and learns good manners. Everything the mother does tends to be for the child in the sense that if one is not careful, she begins to neglect her own well-being. I have seen this happen many times when I sacrifice buying a good perfume and choose to buy shoes for my son. Or not to buy a type of food that my son does not eat, but to buy something that he will eat with all his heart.
It is true that experience is the best teacher, because even motherhood teaches skills and lessons that are not learned in a classroom.