If a man is in a position where he focuses on his mother’s needs and neglects most of his own, it is unlikely that he has a strong connection to his own feelings. What this means is that he probably won’t be in contact with his own body, which is where most of his needs and feelings will be found.
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As a result of this, you will be unbalanced, but you may not be aware of the feelings that would make it clear to you that this is so. With these feelings out of the way and the fact that behaving this way will be normal, there will be no reason for you to change your behavior.
an invisible prison
You will then be trapped in a reality that is not serving your highest good, but you will not have the awareness to get out of it. Now this does not mean that he will never experience anger or frustration; no, what it means is that he probably has a tendency to repress and suppress these feelings.
In order for him to wake up, so to speak, and change his behavior, you will most likely need one of two things to happen. Either you will have to get into a relationship or you will have to have a break up or both.
living a lie
Until this happens, it is likely that you will continue to act in a way that is not aligned with who you are and that you will continue to abandon yourself. Deep down, you are going to suffer a lot, but on the surface, it may seem that you are not.
In general, you can seem happy, calm and unnecessary, and you may do what you can to be there for others and your mother in particular. He will be the quintessential nice guy and may be used to receiving positive feedback from others.
An act
Still, this is not to say that certain people won’t pick up on what’s going on and see how it behaves. For someone like that, he can be seen as someone who lacks a backbone and is simply a people pleaser.
They will know that your kindness is a way of manipulating other people into giving you their approval and it does not come from your heart. However, what could also happen to them is that this is unlikely to be something he is aware of.
Evil
In other words, it’s not that he comes from a place of strength and his intention is to deceive others; it is that he is not in touch with the power of him and is doing what he believes he must do to survive. Other people will be fooled but he will be fooling himself more than anyone else.
At the core of your being, you will want to give up this act and express yourself freely. The part of him that wants to be real will play a part in allowing you to change his life.
the catalyst
This will be the part that will play a role in allowing you to end a relationship or have a break up. What will happen externally can be seen as something separate from what happens inside it, but this is just an illusion.
Your unconscious mind will end up manifesting a situation that will allow your conscious mind to see clearly. So it is not that what will happen externally is random, it will be an expression of what is held in your consciousness.
a result
If you were to have a breakdown, reaching the point where you simply don’t have the energy to behave in the same way anymore, this will be a time when your mask begins to fall apart. You may start saying and doing things that will surprise the people in your life.
Before, you would have hidden your true feelings and now, you will begin to allow your true feelings to shape your behavior and what you say. He will have fallen into himself and will begin to be inward, instead of outward, directed.
Two parts
Although what is happening will allow you to feel alive and will be a good thing, this may also be a time when you experience a number of “negative” feelings. You may feel guilt and shame, and you may feel fear and anxiety.
What is unlocked within him will be a consequence of what happened during his early years. Most likely, this was a time in his life when his mother used him to satisfy some of his unmet adult and childhood needs.
a clear message
In order to survive, she would have had to focus on her needs and be who she wanted her to be; this probably would have been when the nice guy mask of hers began to form. If he didn’t do what she wanted, chances are he was punished, disapproved of, and/or dumped.
Therefore, it was not safe for him to be connected to his needs and feelings, his true self and to express himself freely. He had to play a role to survive and would have continued to play that role throughout his adult life.
Awareness
It will not matter that this stage of your life is over as it will have had a great impact on your entire being. He is likely carrying a lot of trauma and emotional pain, and he will have to overcome this baggage.
If a man can relate to this and is ready to change his life, he may need to seek outside support. This is something that can be provided with the help of a therapist or healer.