When we identify mentoring in this way, it can seem like it’s an obvious way to help our children grow and improve, especially since they enter adolescence once and typically tend to know less. I implore you to learn the parenting skills and plan to use them daily.
However, there are a number of parents who completely change their own style as their children grow and consciously adopt a training strategy that could not only eliminate some of the fear that people face and allow their little ones to grow inside and become adults.
In a nutshell, mentoring is about allowing your child to help echo, deepen their own awareness, discover, consider the possibilities, and figure out their own course of action. This procedure allows you to improve your child’s ability to share (it does not matter if it is your own behavior together with ideals or a condition). It will help them take responsibility for thinking through some of the dilemmas they face, as well as quicken their confidence that they will come up with most of the solutions on their own. The more you inquire about doubts instead of explaining to your sons or daughters, they can intuitively learn to inquire these questions associated with themselves, better equipping them and clarifying problems as they enter their larger environment.
So what the hell can be a standard training circumstance? Your 13-year-old daughter decides to come home to you due to a difference between friends that often threatens her own relationship. She can just tell you what she should do…however, let’s face it. People weren’t there to witness the confrontation and you’ll find that there’s a good chance any advice you give will fall on deaf ears…after all ‘you don’t understand!’
As a mentor, you can start asking some predetermined questions including ‘How do you read the situation?’, ‘What do you think is the real problem here?’ How will people find out? ‘How will each person see it?’ ‘What is important here?’ ‘If you were some kind of educator, what recommendations would you give?’ ‘What would you like to accomplish now?’
Another circumstance may very well be when your son or daughter returns from a gathering having consumed an excessive amount of liquor and has gotten into some sort of fight. Although you may want to be assertive and express your own perspectives, this may not be the only approach. They’ll often learn not to come home drunk again (and sleep over at a friend’s instead), but that’s about it. An additional approach would be to help them learn from their ‘How did it happen?’ ‘What part did people enjoy in this?’ ‘How can people stay away from the following in the long run?’ ‘What do you need to do now to help make that available?’ ‘What have you learned from this?’ When you ask questions, you take yourself away from the struggles, so you are there to pay attention, guide your son or daughter, and offer help. This process is usually better compared to a confrontation that will end in some sort of argument.
So the next time you’re faced with some kind of scenario where you’re drawn to help increase your personal reaction, keep in mind that those doubts can be a replacement. You may be pleasantly surprised at the way the adult response you receive. Consider precisely how this will prepare your child for a lifetime as an older person. Think of the achievements of a strengthened connection that you will enjoy as they simply appreciate the space along with the support you give them.