The 15th reason why you can’t find love is another one that will pierce the illusion of love. Don’t shoot the messenger. There is a small percentage of couples who understand the reality of what I am about to say. They usually stay together.
The 15th reason you can’t find love is because you think love is a feeling. I’ve already talked about neurochemistry and how the brain secretes neurochemicals that make you feel good, like dopamine and oxytocin.
That’s not love. That is just nature’s way of ensuring the perpetuation of the human species. It is a biological function. Every healthy human being has it. That is the catalyst for your feelings.
If you try to build the basis of your relationship on feelings, it will be a very unstable relationship. Feelings come and go. They predict about external forces. You need good conditions to feel good. You need your partner to do things that you think make you feel good. If they don’t do those things, you think they don’t love you.
Then there are those of you who say that love is an action. You are almost there. What’s behind the action? That is the most important. If you’re with someone who does nice things to make you feel good, your relationship will be in trouble if it stops. You start to complain that your feelings for them are dying.
Instead, understand the intent. To understand intent, you need to have very open conversations about how you see each other. You also want to understand if that person represents you. How do they represent you? Your actions will reflect that.
This requires deep heart-to-heart conversations. It has nothing to do with having the same favorite color, going on exotic vacations, or expensive dinners. Love is a place to stand. When you are in love, you are there in good times or bad. It is more of a commitment than a feeling. As I have already hinted, commitment or anything based on feelings will be unstable.
Beware of the 16th reason why you can’t find love. In the meantime, find my book on Amazon or click the link below to purchase it on my website.