As we grow up, we are exposed to a wide variety of different people, places, and things. Each of these experiences ends up in our memory bank and from there we formulate opinions on different topics.
Within each family there are certain rules to follow. As young people, we do not challenge these rules because they have been told to us by people we respect and love. As we grow older and our minds expand, we may have a tendency to defy some of these rules. Teenagers are a great example of this because they challenge everything from the way we look to the way we walk and talk.
Sometimes, based on our family’s values and beliefs, we make decisions based on false information. When I was a fairly young child, my mother told me that dogs bite you if you get too close to them. Since it was my mother who told me this information, I was scared of the dogs. This phobia lasted approximately 4 years until my parents told me that this information was not true. You see, my mother was bitten at a young age by a dog and from then on she was afraid to even be near them. Due to her fear, and because she wanted to protect me from possible harm, she instilled this information in me. This is a form of prejudice.
I can remember sitting down with my parents and asking them to argue with me that what my mother felt about dogs shouldn’t happen to me. After this discussion, we visited one of my parents’ friends who had a new dog. This was my test. I had to go up to the dog and pet him. By doing so, you could see that all dogs don’t bite you. We arrived and the dog was under a chair. I got down on all fours and crawled under the chair to pet the dog. Unbeknownst to me, the dog was asleep and when I went to put my hand on her head, she reacted by biting me and scratching my face. When the blood started to spurt from my face, my parents were in total shock. I was rushed to the hospital where I underwent plastic surgery to repair my hanging lip and nose. To say the least, this experience did not end as my parents expected. Instead of lessening my fear of dogs, it exacerbated them. This is an example of a bias based on reality.
Most prejudices are not based on reality but on ignorance. Whether it’s the color of someone’s skin, the way someone talks, or the way someone moves or acts.
My simple advice for living a happier, more enriching life is to look deep within yourself and find areas where you may be biased. Is this prejudice based on reality, like my old fear of dogs, or is it based on what people told us or maybe it’s just ignorance?
The sooner we clear our thinking and begin to expand our minds to the possibility of knowing people better, the sooner we will become more understanding and compassionate individuals.
