Relationships can be difficult, but long distance relationships give new meaning to the idea of what is difficult in a relationship. The emotional, psychological, spiritual, and physical needs of the relationship must be met in alternative ways. Long-distance relationships can be successful when they cultivate the art of communication and trust between partners. Prioritizing your goals with your partner and talking to them and letting others know how you feel about them can help intensify your relationship.
So what if you start to notice a break in your relationship or feel like something is missing? There are things you can do, even from a distance, to reassure your partner that you’re in the relationship for the long haul.
Keep the dates of your phone or Skype calls. Calling off your partner can imply to them that it’s an afterthought or just a fallback if nothing better is happening. Keep your phone/Skype calls scheduled just like you would an appointment. After all, you are dating your partner, right? Be sure to let your friends or family know that you plan to spend the night talking to your partner and that you are not available at the moment. If you need to cancel for an emergency, let your partner know so you don’t feel stood up.
Communicate about anything and everything. Be honest about how you are feeling, share what you are passionate about and what activities you are currently involved in. Talk to your partner with video chat, instant messaging, email. Write an old-fashioned letter to your lover as a surprise or romantic gesture. Send your partner small gifts in the mail that you think they would enjoy. It’s the little things that let them know you’re thinking of them on a day-to-day basis when you’re apart.
Visit each other and never cancel unless it’s an emergency. Refusing to commit to an agreed visit or canceling your partner for an alternative vacation can cause irreparable damage. By staying committed to your visits, you will show your partner that you want to be with them every day in the future. If you feel like the relationship isn’t working anymore or you’re afraid to visit, talk about it with your partner instead of canceling the date and lying about why. Resolving these issues can help you reevaluate and strengthen your relationship.
Divide the costs of the visits and discuss the finances with your partner. If you live on opposite ends of your country or even the world, finances need to be discussed over visiting and preparing for your future. Is your fiancé from a country where they don’t make as much money as you? What are they trying to help pay for in terms of visits? What do you each expect from the relationship in terms of finances in the future? Discussing the financial side of your relationship helps set the stage for the future expectations, agreements, and commitments you seek in your partner.
Discuss where your relationship is headed and your common goals. This helps each partner get an idea of what they should be working on to make their relationship a success. This is especially important in long-distance intercultural relationships. What are you both looking for in life? What are your expectations? The natural conclusion should be that at some point they will start to live together and even get married. Who is willing to move? Are you both willing to move to a mutually agreeable location? Finding common ground between cultural differences is the key to success in intercultural relationships, as it will prevent many arguments in the future.
Relationships are emotional, spiritual, physical and financial investments. Long distance relationships in general can affect these aspects more than someone you see every day. Be honest with your partner and let them know how much you care and let them know if something is bothering you. If your partner responds positively with the same care and love, you are cultivating positive attributes for your long-distance and, eventually, short-distance love.
